Chapter 9-M. Rouquette-Chapter 10- Kelley Smithson

Bringing It Home Chapter 10-Kelley Smithson

This chapter is devoted to helping parents begin the process of teaching these leadership principals in the home.  As encouraging as teachers and administrators can be, they are no comparison to the impact a family has on the child.   

Home:  A refuge from the Siege?  This section focuses on the influence of technology and the media in today’s home.  Wireless signals enable the infiltration of potentially destructive messages and images that can quickly steal the moral identities of young people.  Outside pressures create family discord which can lead to disharmony, heartbreak, infidelity, financial despair, and abuse.  Although this sounds disheartening the author reminds us of the great joys of parenting.  

The Leader in Your Child:  When leadership principals are brought home the most profound results can be seen.  Parents want their children to have good character and make good choices even when no one is watching and every child has the potential to be a self-leader.  The challenge is how to bring it out and nurture it. Dr. Covey refers back to three quotes mentioned earlier in the book. A.B. Combs fundamental philosophy:  “Treat every child as if they are gifted in at least one aspect.  They will rise to that level of expectation”.  Second Goethe’s statement, “Treat a man as he has the potential to become and you make him better than he is.”, and  third, “Leadership is communicating people’s self worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.”  These quotes suggest the powerful influence a parent has on their child’s self worth, and potential. 

Parents are asked to answer what gifts their child possess naturally and what gifts, if any did their child possess at an early age that have since been muted by his or her cultural DNA?  Parents are asked to consider what they have  said within the past three days that communicates their child’s gifts, and how they can communicate recognition and admiration of those gifts within the next 24 hours.  The author recognizes his mother as the greatest teacher he ever had and how she was constantly affirming him right up until the day she died.

The Power of Principles:  No matter how we try to protect our children from outside influences we cannot follow them everywhere they go.  Our best order of defense is to teach them to do the right thing to do and we must teach them correct principles as early as possible.  The real life skills of “put first things first”, “think, win, win”, “Seek to first understand and then be understood”, “synergize” and “sharpen the saw” are skills that can be used throughout a child’s life.  Parents typically want their children to be proactive and to act with the end result in mind, and although the “7 Habits” may not solve every problem they do offer a great foundation. 

The Power of Modeling:  Parents may want to refer to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families or they may visit www.TheLeaderInMeBook.org for ideas to help with implementation in the home, but the process is simple.  Step 1:  Inspire trust – show your love – let them know that you care about them.  Step 2:  Clarify Purpose – Discuss goals that you have for your child and also what their own goals are.  Discuss how the family can help achieve the goals.  Consider a Family Mission Statement.  Step 3:  Align systems – How the principles will be taught and when achieved and rewarded.  Also, how accountability will be handled.  Step 4: Unleash talent – Expanding or nurturing gifts in your children.  Allowing your children to be involved in the planning and goal setting will impower your children.  Page 216 & 217 gives underlying paradigms and principles along with key actions for all 7 habits. 

The Significance and Power of a Family Mission Statement:  One of the most effective ways to model the 7 habits is through the process of creating a family mission statement.  Success and progress are best achieved by having a clear mission or strategy.

Go at the Right Pace:  Many parents may say that they are just too busy and don’t feel that they have the time to devote to teaching these principles.  The author suggests that families work through their daily lives, teaching the principles through what they are already doing.  One example is if a parent is already reading a book to their child or watching a movie together that they find incidences where the habits are exhibited and then make the points with your children.  This process show not be rushed. 

Keep It Simple:  The key to implementing the process in the home is to keep the focus simple and being simply focused.  The author recommends the following steps: 1) Focus on building independence in your children.  2) Help your children become more interdependent, teaching them the importance of working as a team.  3) Don’t get bogged down by focusing on secondary greatness – wealth, awards, positions, or fame.  Focusing on primary greatness – character and contribution - is where the greatest rewards are found.  He concludes this chapter by encouraging families, reminding the reader that no family is perfect but that it is important not to spend time dwelling on the past but making a plan and looking to the future.  Family is our most important work and we should set our sights on building relationships. “Live life in crescendo,” – the most important work we will ever do is ahead of us all.  Make the leap, the hardest part is getting started.  Dr. Covey ends this chapter with the following statement:  Inspire a child to discover in themselves “the leader in me,” and you change the child and, ultimately, the world forever.

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Beginning with the End in Mind

Mary Rouquette

Chapter 9 lists four phrases that have been used throughout the book.

·         Phrase One: “Modern-Day Miracle Worker” – based on the concept of Anne Sullivan’s struggles that she experienced before becoming the ‘miracle-worker’ for Helen Keller.

After spending two weeks working with Helen, Anne wrote in her journal:  

“The wild creature of two weeks ago has been transformed into a gentle child.  She is sitting by me as I write her face serene and happy…It now remains my pleasant task to direct and mold the beautiful intelligence that is beginning to stir in the child soul.” 

Covey says these words that Anne wrote about Helen are such inspiring words considering what she had been through in her own childhood. 

Because of Anne’s encouragement and dedication to help Helen become a “normal” child through hands-on exploration and learning, Helen reflects on those early encounters with Anne and writes:

“A person who is severely impaired never knows his hidden sources of strength until he is treated like a normal human being and encouraged to try to shape his own life.”

Covey believes that every teacher, each time he or she walks into a classroom full of students, is walking into an opportunity to be a miracle worker.  And, any teacher that is able to see the gifts in each child, brings out that potential, and guides a child to see that same potential……IS A MIRACLE WORKER.

·         Phrase Two: “The Tradition of Caring” – This phrase emphasizes the fact that the leadership theme will only flourish to its maximum potential to the extent that everyone - ALL stakeholders are working together and that the core of the leadership theme needs to become a school tradition – a tradition of caring that the students’ experience.

·         Phrase Three: “Not One More Thing” – represents the fact that teachers involved in the leadership theme do not see it as ‘one more thing’ that they have to do. They feel that it is the MAIN thing.  It’s all about guiding students to see their own potential and then nourishing that potential that will prepare them for not just surviving, but thriving, in the 21^st century….this new world we live in.  

Goethe said, “Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matters least” (Putting first things first)

·         Phrase Four: “Universal Nature” – This phrase addresses the real nature of the 7 Habits. Covey describes the habits as ‘timeless and self-evident’.  They can be applied to every life and every situation.

·         Finally, Covey suggests that we must teach our students how to be proactive and take responsibility for their own actions, to walk with confidence, to feel a sense of worth, to be able to make basic life decisions, to be set goals, to organize their lives, to be assertive, and to dream. 

He suggests we all take a “strategic pause” to think about how we feel about the leadership theme, how it will work at our school, and how we can make it work for us.